You Appear Alongside Me

by Voyage In Coma

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1.
Predation (free) 03:14
Go back to sleep. Wish for a wilderness without predators. In the thicket down by the old drain where cicadas hum and the busted spray paint cans rust. Wish us a shelter from the gasoline rain. Wish us a safe harbor when the waves cap white on the bay. Our childhood came to pick us up from the county jail. Come and bail us out! Those last few days, they make perfect sense. Confessions you could never confess, confessions I can't repeat-- I can't repeat. They are not my words. You were not alone. They are in the bay with your ashes. (Go back to sleep.) I wish cicadas clung to steet lamps instead of your throat.
2.
I did my time so stop planting dead doves in my pockets. The boy who punches windows has left. I cut the fuse of the ethanol bomb set to explode over all that I am. And if you can't forgive, can't forgive yourself, go and hold a grudge against your own health. You're playing dead again. (KO) Relapse weighing in at the nine gun shots that dropped my father. I'll give it all that I got. I'm coming out swinging. (Showdown) I did my time so stop planting dead doves in my pockets. The boy who punches windows has left. I cut the fuse of the ethanol bomb set to explode over all that I am. You're playing dead again. I'm coming out swinging.
3.
Nervosa 04:10
We return to beds and floors not ours. Should I've ever gone away? (Paved-paradise) Slowly mansions slide of those brown hills During a weeks worth of rain. Your family hated my cyanide smell, my crooked smile. We ate silently and selfishly, Looking for a weakness to pin on one another. We were in love and we hated each other. A punch in the face for every meal As you watched me eat your portion, As you watched me eat your problem. I watched you shrink towards skin and bones, My invisible woman who touched me no more. The valley's fury. The faults are angry. The plates are empty In the pantry darkness. Porcelain. Ivory. Fracture. The plane leaves the ramp and now I'm gone. I'd rather have ejected. Thought if I'd screamed Hard enough I could've split this airplane apart. Porcelain. Ivory. Fracture. Should I've ever gone away? (You can't turn back now.) The plane leaves the ramp and now I'm gone. I should have left a letter.
4.
(Slow fade) I can't find you as you sit in one of these rooms. I can't find you in the miles of hallway. I awake to the sound of my mother coughing. Painting portraits of her sons, upstairs, alone. (Coughing rattles me awake) And I'm back in that endless hotel. Mile by mile, til its gone. I keep the lights on for former lovers. When they're gone, we keep loving, little by little, mile by mile, mile by mile til its gone. (Til its gone away) Cutaway to her long jet black hair. Close up on her shining white teeth. Blackout.
5.
THE VALLEYS FILL WITH LAVENDER I see you everywhere I go. That's you on the train to nothing. You left a gap filled with ice and snow. I heard your voice breaking in the thaw. I cold flee far, a migrant bird but everywhere I hear your song. Why did we leave you sleepless in a house filled with guns? Why did we quit on you one by one by one by one? Speeding in a burning car you appear alongside me, surfing the flames at sixty-five miles an hour. Speeding in a burning car you appear alongside me, brown hills turn green at sixty-five miles an hour. (One by one by one) Brother, We light the candles without you, we sing the songs without you, haunted by the name of the daughter you'll never have. I close my eyes too late to catch you walking over the cusp. Your purple light recedes into the arctic.
6.
Fissure 08:08
What's left? This, our beautiful wreckage. A highway strewn with body parts we helped create. We hid behind sheet rock vibrating from the celebration of nothing. Clinging to each other and not the present. Not yet present. Clinging to each other and not yet present.

credits

released May 27, 2011

Release pending...

Produced, Engineered and Mixed at New Noise Recordings by Justin Day.

Mastered by Collin Jordan at The Boiler Room.

Cover photo by Bora Chung.
Design by Henry Mills

© Voyage In Coma 2011

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